I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
