these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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