Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
