Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
