Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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