return my video game
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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