I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
