My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
