Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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