so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
