I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just high enough for therapy.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
