chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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