And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
