Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
