: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
