When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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