Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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