we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
