In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
