Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
