i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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