PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Randomize
