I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
