tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Ladies don't puke and tell
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
