awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
