I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
