It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
