i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
