Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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