it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
