ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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