I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just googled if crying burns calories
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
