no, he came in my armpit
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
