Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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