I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
North Korea, Best Korea!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize