u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
