Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
