Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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