why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
