Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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