hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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