I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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