My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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