I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
