bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
