I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
