at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
