i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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