I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
