Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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