Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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