out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
