So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
