I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
