No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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