This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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