you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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