i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
