she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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