I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
