i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
