He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
