Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
